Digital Ink & Soul Inspiration

Prologue:

When in doubt, have a cup of tea. Not any old tea, mind you, it has to be Earl Grey. I am also a heathen, because it’s of the teabag variety (apologies to purists). Some family members and friends look horrified and turn away in disgust. Their objection is that it’s like drinking perfume, not for them the subtle floral aromas. However, nothing else will do so, at moments of distress, or when happy, a fragrant cup of the Earl hits the spot. Indeed, I refuse to shuffle off this mortal coil unless some comes with me! So, the kettle went on the minute the pubs were ordered shut one Friday evening in March 2020. Let’s take it from there ... 

I can’t seem to find any coherent thoughts in my head. How unusual. Not empty, just not sure what to think, or who to pray for first, or how this is going to unfold. Oh help. Mustn’t panic. Deep breaths. Focus. She’s back in the room. Now, where was I? Where are you? 

Here, as ever. Listening and watching over the universe. This is frightening you, just hold on like you normally have in the past. It will pass eventually. Lessons will be learned, as you lot often say. I see the critics are already looking for the nearest target. It’s always a pity when humans blame each other, or see it as Divine punishment. As if I’d do this to my beloveds. Imagine that? Calling me a loving Father and then making out I throw thunderbolts willy-nilly, I ask you. But what about you? Coping and calm yet? As usual, I know you’ve been doing your best to be helpful and to wait it out. You are crying inside again though, aren’t you? It’s not just what’s been happening recently with the virus, is it?

 Where are the tissues when I need them? Can’t hide anything from you, never could. It’s no good trying. I’m not scared of you, at least you understand when no one else does. At least you love and accept me, warts and all. I’m not feeling very positive today. I found out my uncle has had COVID 19. He’s hanging in there for now, but I can’t find words of prayer. Just nothing.

Let me reassure you that he’s in my care and that’s all you need to believe right now. Humans come into the world, they have life for a span and then they return to me. Hush, dry your eyes, for there’s more to this, isn’t there?

Sorry to sound tetchy, but you know very well there is. First of all, I only found out that he’s been so very ill today, weeks after my brother knew and didn’t bother to say. He never says. It’s just like always. No one really seems to think I need to be in the loop. It’s not that deliberate, I realise that. It just keeps reminding me that no one ever thought to tell me about much when I was little. They just never considered I might like to know. Just as I think it won’t hurt anymore, there’s another twist.

Listen, listen. Remind yourself how far you’ve come, how you’ve grown and blossomed. You have been able and willing to face many truths about yourself, your childhood, and yet you manage to be cheerful, forgiving, not bitter. Even when people are being difficult or unthinking, you still have hope that things will work out. You try your best to be helpful, caring and I see that in you. But most of all I value our friendship. Not many people are as honest with me as you, you know. An awful lot of them think they’re being on friendly terms with me, but they still can’t bring themselves to be upfront. They withhold. Not that I hold it against them, after all I AM, and I made the system as it is. I understand. My system seems wrong to them. They often won’t understand why it is as it is.

But isn’t that why they can’t be honest with you? None of us humans really understand you or your system. Like now, it often seems so inexplicable, full of pain, loss and fear. No one understands the free will stuff either. In fact, currently, it feels like none of us knows what we’re doing. Despite everything that has happened through the ages, we still stuff up, we’re ruining everything again and … and … and... 

My, my, you’re really out of sorts. What would help? Let me think? First Earl Grey. Then play music. Finally, come and talk again once you’ve remembered who you are now. The scars from the past are part of you, your story. They are always there but some have been healed, and others are healing so you are able to go out into the world with your head up. Go now and when you’re ready, I am going to invite you to do something for me, but only if you want to, no pressure and you will be doing my will because you love me not because you have to.